'Last Night Another Soldier'
By East Leeds Magazine Editorial Staff, Autumn 2009

Possibly the hardest thing about parenting is watching your loved one suffer when nobody seems to give a damn. Take the recent increase in violence and death toll in Afghanistan. How many of us saw it, maybe tutted about the waste of life and then turned the telly over without giving it a second thought. Tracey Wild can’t switch over. Every time there’s an incident in Afghnaistan she gets a text message telling her. Nothing more, just the fact that there has been an incident. She gets these text messages about ten o’clock at night, ensuring another sleepless night, because her son is one of our troops stationed in Helmond Province, Afghanistan as part of ‘Operation Herrick 10 Panthers Claw.’ which was mostly about securing safe areas for the recent elections.

The common theme when speaking with anyone with any connection to Afghanistan or Iraq is how poorly equipped our soldiers are. At first,Tracey was keen to get this point across but then on reflection, she sighed and said “Y’know I wanted to use this opportunity to really have a go at the various politicians who have sold our troops down the river. But I’m not sure I can be bothered wasting my breath, now I prefer to focus on the positives like counting the days down until Ashley comes home and the Help for Heroes Charity. I save the newspapers, I'm making a scrap book of how the war is reported here, because he's out there he doesn't see it, but he is part of history and hopefully it's something he will show his kids in the future.” Ashley is on his second stint. There’s no disguising the fact his first tour was horrendous. His regiment were right on the front line, more or less toe to toe with the Taliban.

“The problem is the Taliban although less in numbers than we’d think, are getting more and more devious. They’ve started using crude plastic bombs which are harder to detect and are causing carnage. Ashley had one of his mates die in his arms as a result. The poor lad was blown open, his internal body parts exposed, Every bump the truck went over, his organs spilled out from his body and Ashley literally was keeping them in with his hands. Ashley got him back to safety without more damage, so he could be flown home and buried with dignity. I know he was proud of that, even though the poor lad was dead." July 4th this year was possibly the worse day for British troops in Afghanistan, there were rocket-propelled grenades going off all over the place, Ashley was the lead medic and lost three men- three of his mates plus he had to pull his boss (Lieutenant Disney) free from a wagon where he discovered he had lost a leg.

"You just can't get your head round the fact it's happening to you and yours. The first three months were horrible, I've developed a sort of default mechanism now, so I try to think I'm watching it on a film. Deep down I know I'm not but how else am I supposed to get through the day when my son's in the thick of it in probably the most dangerous place on Earth. The protective cage on the front of his tank is knackered, one of the tracks has come off but they just persevere with it. He phones as often as he can. At the moment he seems down, he's has enough, the sense of no control is overwhelming for him out there and me back here just hoping he will be ok. He's warned me to be prepared because of the weight he's lost. He's aware of how he looks and how we'll respond. He's missing his girlfriend like mad, knowing she's waiting has really helped him through it.

We both keep a diary, I've read some of his, it's amazing. I'd love the world to read it. It inspired me to keep one as well now, so we've got both sides of what's happening. We take so much for granted, Ashley been out there has made him aware of this more than ever. Simple things like a toilet seat, actually using a proper toilet with toilet paper. They're stuck on a hill at the moment, there's no privacy, the loo was exposed to the elements so they've built a bit of a shed round it and a notice saying 'Poo with a View.' He sent me a picture of it - some of the pictures he sends are hilarious, it's knowing he's still laughing that keeps me going. Morale is low, the lads are like family, supporting each other, keeping each other going in a closeness we'd probably struggle to understand.

Last time he came home it took him three days to leave the house, he needed time to readjust. He planned his funeral, what songs, the church, the wake, what he wants people wearing. It's not really a conversation you want to have with your son but I've just have to go with it. I'm just glad he feels he can talk to me about it and it makes me feel better to know his plans. The fact he might be killed out there is always at the back of his mind. After he finally left the house he blew £2000 in two weeks.

He didn't buy a car or anything, he just wanted to enjoy himself because it could be the last time. Maybe that might sound a bit irresponsible but put yourself in his shoes, he might not come back. They all have to write a letter to their loved ones when they go out there. He's already told me if he dies out there he doesn't want any of this Queen and Country rubbish.That's the biggest load of s**t he's heard. And he doesn't want anybody to think he likes it out there, he hates it. He's joined up and he's out there to improve himself as a person. And if he dies it will be for the man stood side by side with him.

He was always a genuine lad but was he is today is extraordinary, he could have gone the wrong way but he turned his life around. I'm so proud of him for doing that and the person he has become.

Ashley & Friends

As well as a Mothers love, I went away with a feeling Tracy had developed a massive respect for her son and that’s what I left with, respect for Tracy in the way she’s dealing with it and respect for Ashley and his Light Dragoon mates, even though I’d never met any of them. I just hope I don’t switch on the news and....well you know the rest.

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